Accepting The Many Rest Stops of Each Day

I feel like my view of life each day is similar to looking through venetian blinds that have been rotated to having a slight angle of the blinds with each tilted slat being a nap. My day goes a bit, then time for a nap, then up again go for awhile, then need to lie down again even if I was only just sitting up reading for 40 minutes then I feel mental fatigue again I have to lie down.

I see how my life is full of mandatory rest stops.

Often I am geared up and getting things done and have so much more I need to do or want to get done but my mind, body or my essence gets tired and I have to lay down ….again.

Yesterday while laying down and trying not to be grumpy about it, I decided to think good thoughts and that all my rest I have to take can be a chance to reconnect with my subconscious. I was reading this is where our natural and creative feelings come from. So when I lay down I turn off the conscious thinking brain and let happy feelings be the essence.

I remember and feel the creativity I enjoyed when I was younger. I liked coloring and watching the color mark the page, seeing it's color form texture of the marking. I feel the fun and happiness in my life as a child. I enjoyed riding my bike and had playing cards I clothespined to my frame to hit my wheels so it made a sound and I pretended it was my motorcycle. I would pretend kick start it and then turn on the yellow round 70's radio that I taped to my handle bars and then ride away. Clomp,clomp,clomp,clomp being the sound of my bicycle.

I bring these happy feelings from these memories to embrace while laying down for yet another nap. It's a time to reconnect to myself. So I am trying to be good to myself and be happy instead of upset that I have to stop what I'm doing again and no that won't get done today again, and there's so much I want to do! : (

The rest stops have to happen even though I sleep 7-8 hours a night and sometimes take up to 4 naps. When meditating on this the day before I felt happy so in my resting I tried to reconnect with that happy feeling and I tell myself I'm getting better every day. I create happy things to feel even if they're not true...(at the moment. I am stubbornly optimistic : ) So I am beginning to be OK when my body tells me it's rest stop time. I try to smile about it and look forward to my happy place invitation.