Saturday, October 15, 2011

Accepting The Many Rest Stops of Each Day

I feel like my view of life each day is similar to looking through venetian blinds that have been rotated to having a slight angle of the blinds with each tilted slat being a nap. My day goes a bit, then time for a nap, then up again go for awhile, then need to lie down again even if I was only just sitting up reading for 40 minutes then I feel mental fatigue again I have to lie down.

I see how my life is full of mandatory rest stops.

Often I am geared up and getting things done and have so much more I need to do or want to get done but my mind, body or my essence gets tired and I have to lay down ….again.

Yesterday while laying down and trying not to be grumpy about it, I decided to think good thoughts and that all my rest I have to take can be a chance to reconnect with my subconscious. I was reading this is where our natural and creative feelings come from. So when I lay down I turn off the conscious thinking brain and let happy feelings be the essence.

I remember and feel the creativity I enjoyed when I was younger. I liked coloring and watching the color mark the page, seeing it's color form texture of the marking. I feel the fun and happiness in my life as a child. I enjoyed riding my bike and had playing cards I clothespined to my frame to hit my wheels so it made a sound and I pretended it was my motorcycle. I would pretend kick start it and then turn on the yellow round 70's radio that I taped to my handle bars and then ride away. Clomp,clomp,clomp,clomp being the sound of my bicycle.

I bring these happy feelings from these memories to embrace while laying down for yet another nap. It's a time to reconnect to myself. So I am trying to be good to myself and be happy instead of upset that I have to stop what I'm doing again and no that won't get done today again, and there's so much I want to do! : (

The rest stops have to happen even though I sleep 7-8 hours a night and sometimes take up to 4 naps. When meditating on this the day before I felt happy so in my resting I tried to reconnect with that happy feeling and I tell myself I'm getting better every day. I create happy things to feel even if they're not true...(at the moment. I am stubbornly optimistic : ) So I am beginning to be OK when my body tells me it's rest stop time. I try to smile about it and look forward to my happy place invitation.


  1. Oh what a wonderful post!
    You are optimistic, and you need to stay that way!!
    I know that I TRY every day not to seem miserable, just try to act happy, but I am not. I guess I'm better, not as miserable, but I have been so angry for so long, I almost don't remember how to act happy in front of others, or be thankful for one thing.
    I always think of something pleasant when I go to sleep, but then those mad feelings, or negative thoughts creep in!! And then I start my internal arguing!!!
    I guess I am a hot mess!!!! But I am trying!! THAT is my happy thought for today!!! It's the best I got!!
    Keep up what you are doing!! You are really doing awesome!!!

  2. Trying IS the best thing we can be thankful for sometimes. I hit my bumps in the road everyday also. Whew some of those bumps in the daily road of life calls for wheel adjustment as my tires go hissing away. This M.S. moody ride - ugh. I am trying to navigate.

    heehee. That SNL skit just came into my head of the two women who speak monotonely and say, "Good Times." heehee. That's how I feel sometimes when I am sitting back trying to reclaim myself after a wonderful angry mess I got myself into.

    Remember to breathe and even smile. Sometimes that can magically help even if it's slowly over time.

    And your wonderful artistic blog is a great way to design out those hot emotions.

    You're great.