Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Bird Fly Dance

I wrote this a ways back but I am posting it now because it's a good day to remember to count my blessings.

I completed my errands needed for M.S. which was returning my library books, getting a sharp box from Walgreens and dropping something off at my lawyers office . I have to use the bathroom and need to sit down and rest. I am near the restaurant a friend took me to that has good and affordable food. I order at the counter I finally get to go to the bathroom. I have been holding it awhile.

Finally - In bathroom, bag down, pants down, relief is near, but then I notice no toilet seat covers and there's pee all over the seat. I don't want to touch dirty butts or have wet butt checks from someone's piss all over the seat, so I take extra time to dry the seat and then arrange toilet paper strips to line the seat so I can sit in cleanliness and pee. : )

Knees bent and gravitating to the pristine seated position that's when I saw it – a large fly the size of perhaps a small new born bird...well at least the first joint of a large and wide thumb. It flies up to the ceiling then down about 4 inches above the ground.

Automatic motion kicks in. Seated gravitation reversed, I try to step on it with my pants still around my knees. Oh the thought process and actions that go into haphazard defense when serene moments don't exist. I hobbled and side stepped around trying to step on it or shoo it away from me, having the MS balance issues makes this a challenging experience. I pull up my pants and opened the bathroom door trying to shoo it out. It's gone...but it did not fly out the door ... I know it's still in there. It is hiding, probably behind the toilet laying eggs and starting a new settlement.

Well, I'll take this opportunity with bird fly out of sight to pee. OK pants down again, seated on the pristine, dry and clean toilet paper. Ah. I'm almost done, then Buuuuzzzzz, it flys out again and goes to the all the walls and then to the sink then returns to circling the room, it won't hold still. I cover myself and keep my eyes on both sides of toilet seat and panties to shoo it away from me if needed. I know I shouldn't worry so hysterically much, but it is extra large and extra gross and I don't want any of it to touch any part of me. Buuuuzzzz...mmmzzz by my foot, I try to step on it. Dang, missed again. It's freedom continues to populate the bathroom. I wipe, hop up, pants up, and wash hands with my eyes working as surveillance beams scanning the surroundings for it's location. It flys up to the door. Quickly I open it for the bird fly and shoo it out.

Yes, it's gone! I'm happy the next person won't have to go through that.... wait, I hope it doesn't go into the kitchen and touch anyone's food. I bring peace to myself thinking if it does go in there they will definitely see this airliner 747 bird fly and perhaps release it to the huge open sky where it can fly freely with it's large grotesque size.

I go to my table and sit comfortably, take a deep breath and remind myself to count my blessings. I'm practicing the metaphysics of good thoughts to help me with my M.S. and in life. Every night I count my blessings of each day. Tonight I will surely include:
  1. I didn't fall over and I'm impressed with my compromised M.S. shoe stomping moves. They are Olympic gold metal worthy.
  2. No part of the bird fly touched any part of me. : )

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